Gone crazy – back in 20 minutes

Pardon me for sounding like Darth Vader, but tonight I felt a presence I haven’t felt since… Well, I won’t go into that.

I was sitting in my lazyboy, eating some cookies and drinking a malted drink to help me shift the old grey matter into neutral, and um reading an article in New Scientist on GM modified coffee and thinking its probably about time to turn in.

And then suddenly my upper legs and upper arms felt like I was sitting on top of a hill in winter back in England with a steady icy breeze moving past me. Fuck hackles raised, this was an army of hackles marching to an icy death. At the same time, I suffered the same sequences of reactions that you would receive if you suddenly realised someone was charging at you with a club in their hands, and they were only feet away from you. Genuine shock followed precisely *because* there was nobody rushing at me. And it all seems to be coming from just to my left, where my stairs are. My brain was entirely screaming that screaming hordes of bloody thirsty killers were tearing down my little staircase and running at me waving limbs and sickles.

Mere instants have passed, but just as I am forming the thoughts “get a grip”, my cat is hissing, at the very spot I “sense” this presence. And then she virtualy throws herself at it, as though there’s a hostile cat, but as she reaches the exact spot I would have said “there” to, every spot of fur on her body goes erect and she makes that “rrryEOWCH” noise cats make when stepped on.

That is too much for me, so I bolt out onto my lil’ balcony, to find my neighbors on either side outside also, all looking pale and terrified, one side is a couple and she is trembling despite the oven-like heat out there and he’s holding onto her hard, and on the other side is another single guy. After a moment he looks over and tells me it suddenly got cold in his apartment and his dog soiled itself and went totaly nuts, he opens the door, and we can hear his dog whimpering and whining. I open my door and my cat explodes out and jumps clean off my balcony making a rather pained noise on her landing a floor down.

Seeing this the guy of the couple asks me what I’ve done in there. I tell him nothing and start to step back into my appartment. As I do, a woman starts screaming hysterically downstairs. I guess the folks either side of me couldn’t tell exactly where that was coming from, but the woman of the couple starts yelling at her guy to call the cops, and the door of the appartment downstairs bangs open, and a guy comes running out and looks straight up at me and yells “What the f**k are you doing up there?” Screaming-hysteria followed him out plus a few other very scared looking people, one of whom yelled the same question at me, and then the first downstairs guy yells at me “Are you some f*king satanist or something”?

The folks downstairs all start talking and jabbing fingers in my direction, hysterical woman is crying sobbing like someone has just died, and my brain is mush. I hear words like “evil” and “hurting”. In all the fog it dawns on me there’s a lot of people downstairs, but it hadn’t been noisy like one of their parties, so I ask quite simply “what the f*k were YOU all doing down there?”

The guy who I think is the one who lives down there replies “We were having a seance”.

4 Comments

I kinda feel better for writing that out but I also wish I had a private blog area. I feel akward knowing people will read it. But the cops had just left and it was the only thing I could think of to calm myself down. When the cops told me that if I didn’t calm down they were going to take me down to the station, I was sorely tempted to do something deliberately overt, but I was so freaked out I didn’t trust myself not to do something stupid and get myself shot — having armed men turn up was *not* a relaxing end to the turn of events for my British sensibilities.

yeah, i kinda just installed wordpress instead (http://www.wordpress.com) for much the same reasons – there ya can make stuff “private” etc…

bye bye roxen – long story – admittedly i *could* have written a roxen module for doing all the work – but what’s the point eh?

mike

Why on EARTH did everyone latch on to you??

Do you have *wanker* written on your forehead or something?

Yeah, why is everyone pointing at you, except that you’re a “furrigner”?

Oh, I forgot, it *is* Texas.

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