Bought a big and tasty with fries and ice coffee last night, mostly for the coffee… When I mentioned it was for to-go the server calmly transferred my food from the nice, thick brown paper bag to a flimsy plastic one. So by the time I got it home it was cold.
It turns out that cold McFries are… stabby. Especially if you eat them too quickly, trying to get it over with…
After a couple of minutes I started to feel bloated and that quickly became a sharp, piercing sensation I first thought was indigestion.
Some advice on expelling sharp food items from your esophagus: don’t wait until your dearest wish is to lie face down in the tub and vomit up your feet; alternate between gulping air and swallowing lukewarm water to avoid additional bleeding (if you’ve already waited too long, like a dumbass)